Braving the dark

“If I’m honest, I feel more fearful than I have been in seasons past.”
I wrote those words a few months ago during a season when I was helping our children process processing a lot of violence and loss that was hitting our neighborhood. Those conversations turned into these two stories about braving the dark that have found their way into a sermon at Christ City and into this video reflection. I share it in hopes that it encourages you as you face whatever fears and dark nights that you find yourself facing.

Teaching Kids to be brave in the dark

I remember when our kids were little and helping them overcome their fear of the dark. When our son was like 3 or 4, he was scared to go into our kitchen at night when the lights were off. The kitchen was kind of long and wide open and opened to a pantry in the back of it.

Initially I would simply encourage him. “Come on buddy! There’s nothing to be afraid of! Eventually, I just took to bribing him to go in there when the lights were off at night. At first a few steps. Then a few more. Finally, I said I’ll give you $2 if you go all the way in, and make a lap around the kitchen into the pantry and back out.

Our son has always been motivated by money so, he  takes the bet, and in his characteristically loud fashion he begins shouting at the top of his lungs and he sprints  into the dark. He runs into the kitchen, past stove, past the bakers cart where we stored our plates, into the pantry, and back out. All the while shouting at the top of his lungs. He makes it out of the kitchen. Into the light. Out of breath. And he’s got his hand out to receive his $2 payment.

Sometimes the only way you make it through the dark, and through the fear is by running fast and shouting at it.

With our daughter it was a bit different. She was scared to go into our basement on her own. Even if the nightlight was on, she was still afraid.

It doesn’t have to be pitch dark for you to be afraid, sometimes, it can be only half-ways dark.

Our daughter was unmoved by money, so I knew bribing wouldn’t work for her. What she wanted, was for someone to be near her.
We keep the spare rolls of paper towels in the basement and one evening at dinner time we’d run out in the kitchen. So, I asked our daughter to go get me some in the half-lit basement.

I started off trying to encouraging her to face her fears, go into the basement and retrieve a new roll of paper towels. Then when my encouragement fell short, I just started making demands. That only made things worse.

Her compromise to me was that I go with her. Not all the way down, just stand on at the top of the stairs and talk to her the entire time she made her way into the dark and back again.

So that’s what I did. I walked with her to the basement stairs and just talked to her. Told her she was doing fine. Told her where the paper towels were. And told her I wasn’t going anywhere.

She reached the bottom of the steps and flicked on the light….and made the rest of the journey into the unknown on her own while I talked her through it, never too far away.

Sometimes we face the dark and the dimly lit best with others. They don’t have to be right next to us, just near us, so that we can hear their voice as we make our way forward.

It can seem like the nights are getting longer and more dreaded. If I’m honest, I feel more fearful than I have been in seasons past.

The thing my kids had to face, and that we all have to face is the uncertainty of it all. We just don’t know what is up ahead or around the corner.

Radical uncertainty is ours to live with.

Nevertheless, let us charge into the fearful dark, with our voices raised, listening to the One who is near us, and calling us, and talking us through whatever nights we are facing. Waiting for us in the dawn. And maybe, holding a couple of dollars for us.